Friday, November 22, 2013

Edited Writing Sample

‘Did you hear that Jack’ ‘hear what Christopher’ ‘ohh nothing’. It was pitch black all Christopher heard was the owls and the trees scratching my window ‘Christopher’ someone whispered. Christopher shouted out ‘Yes’ but there was no reply. Christopher goes down stairs to check if anybody's home he cheks all the rooms except the spare room.

No one ever goes into the spare room but Grandma. Christopher goes into the spare
room and a big gust of wind pushes him back. The next day Mother came home with Jack. Christopher was shaking in fear like he had just seen a ghost. Mother asks ‘what's wrong’ Christopher was so frightened he couldn't speak.

Four days straight Christopher was in his room in silence For three days he didn’t
eat or drink. As soon as he was over getting frightened like that there was a whisper telling him ‘you have been cursed you must say you're name three times in the mirror all the lights in your house must be turned off and nobody should be home if you dont do this in seven days you will be cursed for the rest of you life’.

On sunday he did every thing and it just went quite. He was sure he lifted the curse
and he woke up in a hospital instead. Christopher had scars and cuts all over him. There was a whisper again But it was a woman's voice. She had told him ‘You have done well but theres one thing you have to do is get rid of him’. He replied ‘But how when I can't see him’ His mother was Weirded out she was thinking he was talking to his imaginary friend but this was a friend This was a stranger.

When she went back Home mother said ‘son who were you talking to at the hospital’
Christopher replied ‘I don't know’ The mother was worried she was thinking ‘You need
medical help’.She tried blessing him baptising him everything but then Mother took
Christopher to grandma she knew what to do she said to Christopher’s Mother He must go into the spare room for a week.

He was in the spare room for three days now he got food and water at first he was
feeling sick then he got chicken pox and it was the last day in the room he was
knocked out by the wind he was in a dream and he woke up and saw the ghost It was
a man called Krillin. Krillin told Christopher that he was a man and could handle scare
then Krillin just vanished into thin air and he was gone. From this day Christopher can
still see ghosts and is now a ghost buster. He is now one of the top paranormal
investigators and is now ninety two.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Paris,
    I really enjoyed reading your writing. What I liked the most was the brilliant use of your imagination. That is what added suspense and thrill to your story in my opinion. Keep up the great work.